The following is an interview with a 23 year old charismatic, student who like to be referred to in this piece as 'Snake Plissken'. It did not take long for 'Plissken' to open up. When he did, he had this to.
I wanted to do this out of pure interest and curiosity. I deal in social science and I like to visualize the 'asking
people about their feelings' thing. You doing this interview is gonna have an
impact for a lot of people. I like that it’s a random profiling of human beings and the fact people
will see this and like you mentioned , "its getting to know people without knowing the person".
A weakness that people don't know about me is that I consistently don not believe in myself.I don't think people get the depth of how fucked I get mentally sometimes. I've I picked up some bullshit in my past. Whatever it is that people expect out of me is something that I really don't want for myself. I don't want to sound dramatic but people in the past took me as a fool, and I been fighting that to this day. My way was to always just to escape things instead of facing them
I would say because of the issues I've had it has help me to teach myself to know more, not that I'm a dumb person or anything. But I use these things to escape reality. of learning any and everything. But now that I know as much as a do, it made me more fucked up. I learned the world is more hash than I originally thought it was. Its a great big paradox. I learn to better myself but feel worse about the place I'm living in.
I think the outcome of this made less social, less outgoing, less comedic. I use music now as a outlet, for anger, fear and resentment. It was my ability cope with it. There was a time, that I was doing mind altering drugs that made me think differently of myself and how I deal with people. Not all negative though. But it made think of how others just go about this life. Realizing that most of these people are just drones, and not apart the reality of just BEING. I hate that I think like this sometimes because society tells us that once we think that we're totally different from other people, it's insanity. That's just how they see it. You see me and we've talk and I don't come off to you as insane,right? (completely not). But its the deeper thinking of these simple things that cast that. They're not going to flat out tell you that "Hey, you're insane". They going to be nice about it with "you have ADD" or" You're manic depressive" or "schizophrenic".
Because of this, though I have been a pretty strict on people as a society; I still have hope and I still care for these people. There's good out there, man. Its not all bad. You can go around the world and see all the culture there is and you can see that it's not all bad. You go about it several ways. You wake up every morning and get your coffee from starbucks or wawa and pretend to be happy go lucky. But that's not life. Its about seeing the bad and excepting it as it is and that it will happen, and all the more to celebrate the good and beautiful things in life. Then you can really appreciate all it offers.
I admit I do enjoy the chaos. I do find myself trying to understand the outcast. That's human nature though. That's Andrew Dice Clay, that's George Carlin, that's Richard Pryor. That's what brought their individuality to even go there.
I'm not the leader, I don't want to be the king. I just want to put my art out there and hope they'll like it. I know everyone won't, but if the message is getting to anyone out there than that to me is my life fulfilled success.
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